An attachment style quiz helps people understand their preferred way of forming emotional bonds with others. It asks questions about your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours in relationships.
Based on responses, it categorises a person into different attachment styles, such as secure, anxious, avoidant, or disorganised.
This quiz can provide insights into a person’s relationship patterns, how he seeks closeness or independence, and how he responds to challenges in relationships. It can help gain self-awareness and understand how attachment style influences interactions with others.
Want to know more about the attachment style quiz? Keep reading –
Types of Attachment Styles
There are four types of attachment styles –
- Anxious Preoccupied
- Fearful avoidant
- Dismissive avoidant
- Secure
Anxious Preoccupied
People with this attachment style are characterised by a strong desire for relationships, intimacy, and love. They often find it challenging to be single, as they seek the emotional connection that comes with being in a romantic partnership.
Being in a relationship provides reassurance and boosts their confidence, which can be appealing to individuals with this style type.
However, once the dating phase transitions into a committed relationship, individuals with this attachment style may start experiencing feelings of fear, rejection, jealousy, and distress. They may become anxious and worry about their partner’s feelings and actions.
What are the reasons for an anxious preoccupied attachment style in childhood?
An anxious or preoccupied attachment style, commonly known as anxious ambivalent in children, often stems from inconsistent parenting. In this type of parenting, the caregivers sometimes provide support and responsiveness to the child’s needs, while other times they are not in sync with the child.
This inconsistency can create confusion for the child. They struggle to understand the meaning behind their parents’ behaviour.
The mixed signals from the caregivers can leave the child uncertain about their relationship with them.
Another contributing factor is what experts refer to as “emotional hunger” on the part of the caregivers.
In this situation, caregivers seek emotional or physical closeness with their children primarily to fulfil their own needs rather than focusing on the needs of their children.
These parents may come across as overly protective. They may utilise their child as a means to satisfy their own desire for love or to portray themselves as the ideal parent.
What are the factors that led to the development of ambivalent attachment?
There are many factors; a short list of those are –
- Physical abuse.
- Psychological abuse.
- Separation from parents or caregivers in early stages of life.
- Inconsistent responsiveness to the child’s emotional needs.
- Emotional distance.
Avoidant attachment style
The Avoidant Attachment Style is marked by a preference for independence, assertiveness, and self-reliance. Individuals with this attachment style are comfortable being single and may exhibit sociable, popular, and friendly traits.
They often engage in dating multiple people but tend to lose interest when a sexual partner seeks a deeper emotional connection. Their focus in relationships is primarily on fulfilling their own desires, often disregarding the needs of others.
What causes avoidant attachment?
The development of an avoidant attachment style in a child is greatly influenced by the emotional availability of their caregivers.
The caregivers may not necessarily neglect the child overall. However, they tend to avoid displaying emotions and intimacy, and often fail to attune to the child’s emotional needs. These caregivers withdraw when the child seeks support, reassurance, or affection.
As the emotional intensity increases, these caregivers are likely to become more distant. They may become overwhelmed and desire distance from the situation.
The child expresses a desire for closeness, but instead of receiving it, they perceive rejection and feel as if the door is being shut in their face.
When the child does display emotions, caregivers respond with anger and attempt to disrupt the child’s behavior by telling them to toughen up. The parent expects the young child to behave independently, seriously, and with restraint.
And growing up in such an environment is likely to result in an avoidant attachment style. Often, these caregivers themselves possess this attachment style, and unknowingly pass it on to the next generation due to their own upbringing.
Disorganised attachment
The Disorganised Attachment Style is also known as Fearful Avoidant. It is an attachment style characterised by a mix of Preoccupied and Dismissive tendencies.
Individuals with this style desire love and connection with others. Initially, they may project an image of confidence, attractiveness, and excitement, appearing to have everything under control. However, their fear of being hurt by someone creates obstacles in forming deep bonds and being vulnerable.
These individuals often struggle with dating because the process of getting to know and trust potential partners can be painful, confusing, and distressing for them.
What leads to formation of disorganised attachment style?
The disorganised attachment style is often a result of childhood trauma or abuse. Another key factor in its development is the perception of fear during development.
In infancy and childhood, a child’s survival relies heavily on their caregivers. This understanding is ingrained subconsciously, leading the child to seek safety and security from their caregivers. However, problems arise when the source of safety becomes a source of fear.
When caregivers display inconsistent and unpredictable behaviour, they create contrasts in their actions and then the child may begin to fear for their own safety. The child is uncertain about what to expect and when their needs will be met, if ever.
And because of all this, the child is no longer able to trust the caregivers. They realise that they can’t rely on them for any of their needs.
Secure Attachment style
Individuals with this attachment style are self-assured and confident in themselves. They are also comfortable in forming and maintaining relationships.
Dating is generally uncomplicated for securely attached individuals, as they are open and honest in their approach. They are warm and easily connect with others, which makes them appealing to potential partners. They feel comfortable initiating and developing bonds with people they are interested in.
How can you take an attachment style quiz?
You can take the quiz for free as many platforms are allowing people to take it without paying any money. You just need to follow some simple steps –
- Search for “attachment style quiz” on your preferred search engine.
- Decide the website that you want to take the test on. Visit it.
- Start the test.
- Answer the asked questions and that’s it.
After answering, you’ll get the results. But make sure you are honest while answering as the results depend on your answers.
Can you change your attachment style?
Yes, it is possible for people to change their attachment style. Attachment styles are not fixed. They can be influenced by various factors, including personal growth, self-awareness, and experiences in relationships.
Changing the style requires self-reflection and a willingness to work on oneself. It involves recognizing and understanding one’s current attachment style, identifying any unhealthy patterns or beliefs, and actively working towards developing more secure and positive ways of relating to others.
Therapy or counselling can be beneficial in this process. A trained professional can provide guidance, support, and tools to help individuals explore their attachment style, address any underlying issues or traumas, and develop healthier relationship patterns.
Additionally, practising self-care, cultivating self-esteem, and building secure relationships can contribute to positive changes in attachment style.
But it is important to note that changing attachment styles is a gradual process that takes time and effort. It requires a commitment to personal growth and a willingness to challenge and transform deeply ingrained patterns of relating to others.